Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Perfect Movie

Directed by Zack Snyder with an appropriate level of slo-mo (50-70% of the movie). The main character (Bruce Willis) is having a shitty day; especially when an evil criminal mastermind (Gary Oldman) and his main henchman (Schwarzenegger and Van Damme) reincarnate Nazis as zombies to supplement their already plentiful army of ninja warriors. Even though that life is behind him, he recruits the help of his former partners (Bruce Campbell and Ving Rhames, whose respective specialties are demolitions and demolitions). Someone delivers the line “he’s not so dangerous without his head attached to the rest of em” after a fight breaks out at a nudist all-female massage parlor (Megan Fox, Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, Eliza Dushku, Marisa Miller, Salma Hayek, Elisha Cuthbert...). Before they are ready they must first learn to get spiritual (Segal cameo) and then finally defeat evil while somehow employing stealth bombers retrofitted with gatling guns. Soundtrack by Still Time.

No comments: